Men's World

A man who is extremely large has shaved his head completely bald and has let his beard grow long and bushy. One of his ears is pierced and a tunnel sleeve in his earlap stretches it hard. The man is neatly dressed. He wears a business suit with a tie in compatible colors. With gestures that tell about concentration, he grabs a bottle on the table, raises it to his lips, and takes a long gulp groaning manfully.

At the same table, opposite him, sits a really big guy. He has long hair tied in ponytail. His chin is carefully shaved. His arms are full of multi-colored tattoos. The man is dressed provocatively in black leather clothes and fingerless leather gloves. He takes a bottle from the table, brings it up to his lips and takes a long swig while glancing at the passing waitress.

Waitress serves both men with a plateful of ribs. The restaurant has an excellent reputation for its grilled ribs and the men have decided to put that reputation to the test. Both hold the food with their hands and tore pieces from it with their teeth. Hot fat flows from the hot meat to the men's fingers and jaws. The meat is obviously delicious. It vanishes into the men's chewing mouths while the waitress brings more bottles for them to drink.

Between bites, the long-bearded man rocks a babysitter that is on the adjacent chair. The baby that has been sleeping on it starts to wake up and coos making his needs to be known. The man raises the baby on his arms and sways him in a very experienced way. Another man grins and makes faces but continues eating.

The man holds the baby against his chest, just like he were breast-feeding it. He dips his little finger in pork fat that covers his plate and then offers it to his child. Baby sucks the little finger with his eyes closed and builds his future diet by this experience. The smile on the man's face disappears when the other man asks: "Why do you not breast-feed it the same way?"

"I cannot yet," the man responds. "We talked about it with my wife and I promised to go and get the hormonal injections. Next week I may be able to do it, I suppose." A man is silent for a moment and continues: "How about you?" The other man blushes and bites a mouth full of hot meat. Then he concedes that he is already three months pregnant: "...because my wife makes a career and I have now all the time in the world."

Original in Finnish

12 kommenttia:

Eleanor Vatsa kirjoitti...

I like this story! It tastes delicious! But then again, I like all Isopeikko's stories:)

isopeikko kirjoitti...

Thank you for reading the story, Eleanor Vatsa. You seem to have omnivorous reading habits :)

Johanna kirjoitti...

Jos nuo vauva-isit näyttää tuolta niin en uskaltaisi edes katsoa miltä ne uraäidit näyttää, hui!

isopeikko kirjoitti...

Varovaisuus on viisautta, Johanna :) Toisaalta voisi olla mielenkiintoista nähdä miten uraäidit taipuvat uran vaatimuksiin. Se ei tosin aina näy ulospäin.

Arjaanneli kirjoitti...

This vision is a nightmare!

I want men to be a men and woman to be a woman!

If one governor named Arnold want to be a mother, does it mean that all "big guys" want to be like him?
Because It`s cool...?

And another thing:
How can daddy be so thoughtless and let the baby suck his finger before washing hands?

Mother would not....

isopeikko kirjoitti...

Thank you for your nice comment, Arjaanneli. Fortunately there would never be full uniformity or sameness between men and women. Even the sole equality appears to be impossible.

Leonoora kirjoitti...

By the way...
What is your name in enlish: Big-Troll... -Specter, -Goblin...?

Fortunately, and after all, that dialogue has not yet an everyday life. In any case, very interesting.

isopeikko kirjoitti...

Thank you for comment, Leonoora. Peikko is just peikko even in English.

The dialogue tells about breast-feeding and birth-giving and as such it is a half-truth today. It has been claimed that lactation is possible for men, too. Assumes peikko.

Anonyymi kirjoitti...

It is good that you corrected the sexist discrimination of nature =)
I was waiting along the story how you gonna end it, but you supprised me again.

isopeikko kirjoitti...

Nice to hear that, marjaisa. It is always a great pleasure if a story offers astonishment. :)

Kutis kirjoitti...

I remember this :) from another Peikotus-world, I think I commented there that drinking and breast-feeding might not be a good idea. But it's a men's world, after all, maybe the babies develop different kind of livers there ;)

I just have to mention this, it's so funny; I dreamt of Isopeikko the other night. I saw him so clearly, stunningly close, and it was pretty surprising what he looked like :) for he was tall and blond -- actually a grey, extremely short hair, and I thought, no, this is not the dark and hairy Isopeikko of my mental image. And then it turned out this Peikko was not an engineer either but a dentist or sth.. ;) And then he told me to mail him. Wonder why. But I did. Like this.

isopeikko kirjoitti...

Your dream was quite clear one, Kutis. There were many details that describe peikko very exactly. However, we should remember that peikko as such is a symbol for something horrendous. Peikko is so glad to read that Kutis is no more afraid of engineers, only dentists :)

How come drinking and breast-feeding might not be a good idea? One has to drink to be able to lactate, to produce milk. Peikko agrees that drinking alcohol and breast-feeding is not a good idea. But most obviously the men in this story were drinking bottled mineral water (with gas). Okay, you did not mention alcohol, either.

Your mail gave peikko a smile. Like this :)